"Awakened"

Yet another amreekan experience today....my first... and hopefully never wanting to experience again!!

My buddy DKK drops the bomb (chill peeps... just my paki lingo... 'bomb' and sheeyat like that) on my Friday's commute home that RP's dad is pretty sick in the hospital and RP is on his way back from a trip to Atlanta.

Sadly.. the dad passes away (85 yrs), from what I hear peacefully. Arrangements were made in advance so the Wake and Funeral took place today. And hence... my first amreekan "wake".

A note on DKK and RP... my bestest of buddies that I met years ago at my previous workplace. It will take blogs and blogs to explain their support and friendship... but for now.. DKK... the hilarious dude (wearing a mask in the photo) has the memory of an elephant.... and RP... years older than me but the stamina of a 20YR old... runs, jogs, plays basketball, racquetball and also as told by his wife *wink*.

So DKK, who also happens to live literally yards away from my place, and I decide to car pool to the wake... leaving pretty early and offering support to RP and his family for whatever we can do to assist.

Having never attended a wake before... and despite hoping to follow DKK's lead in whatever he did, I find myself googling 'wake' in the middle of the night.. checking out things like... dress attire, what to expect, what to do there, what to say, blah blah blah.

Reached the funeral home and was really 'awakened' by what I saw. I had to try really hard to put on my 'serious', 'sad' face not knowing what to expect.. and hands literally shaking as I opened the door. Everything was so sophistically organized to my surprise. After signing the register, putting a condolence card in that spring kinda thingy... and walking through a passage way of photos.. we stood in a line to meet the family. RP saw us there and came to us right away.

I gave RP the manly hug and offered my condolences to him and his family. We talked about his dad for a bit. Remember... I still had my serious face, something that nobody has ever seen before... not even myself. DKK was like "WTF is up with you dude... u r overdoing it - relax man... RP might start crying looking at you". That was my sigh of relief!!! I tell you. It was one tough job being that serious. I considered myself good enough to be a paki movie star with that kind of acting....

.... and it literally took like 5 minutes and things were back to normal, talking about work and projects and meeting up with the other work peeps and... more of a social event. (yup... i am still bad... but hey.. telling u as I saw it). His dad seemed peaceful.... lying in a suit. DKK and I left when it was time for the funeral.. only to meet up with RP and his family in the afternoon once again, on RP's request, which was once again a social event. RP pretended to be strong in front of his family... but did let out his emotions to us in private... the reason he wanted his buddies DKK and me to be there. I'm glad I was there to support him...something I can do well from the heart!!

It truly was a surprising day for me... as I compared the funeral scene from back home to this one. I was surprised first to see the organized way the funeral was "pre"arranged in, surprised to see people socialize instead of indulging in religious services, surprised not seeing even a tear drop in anyones eyes. It actually made me think about family relations and the values (or lack of) that this culture practices.... and wondering if am I ready for this?

I'm glad all that changed towards the end of the day when we finally got to meet RP after the funeral. A lot happened then which filled the gaps between the cultural differences in my mind.

I learned how things could be done better back home instead of the havoc and the rustle bustle, fake bauling, pick-pocketting (yes, happened to me a few months back), most people there for food only, not realizing remaining family is hurt, partying towards end of day and back to normal by night kinda funeral.


I'm actually glad I got to experience this culture today - wishing never having to go to another Wake again!!!