Something's Fishy.

So here I am... trotting into work.. not really wanting to be here today...thinking of today's awesome train ride... and pass the CTO in the loooong hallways of my office.

"Mornin J.." I say.

"Good Morning Faisal" he says. and we pass each other.

I pause and look back at him walking away... "Good Morning - F.A.I.S.A.L???" is what he said!! Whoa!!! Something is up.

In a company of over 1200 peeps.. the CTO knows my name and pronounced it correct as well??.. and me probably only spoke to him once in the last 18 months?

Something is up for sure. I just cannot relax not knowing.

WTF is this corporate amreeka political system. Bring it on. I can take it like a Paki guy. Just try me.

I trace back my months at this place trying to figure out the accomplishments for why he remembered my name. Or did I unknowingly screw up.

Whatever it is... sure gives me the creeps.

... now back to thinking of my awesome train ride.

He Said... She Said... and the 'cycle'.

Isn't it just awesome watching the presidential race here in the US of Amreeka!!!

Though I had always thought Hillary was at her post menopause (is that a term??) stage, it seems the all natural PMS is paying her a visit these last few days.

I mean... have u heard her recently.... she has fallen far behind in the candidacy and all she does now is crap about Obama, McCain and now the media. I swear it was not too long ago when she promised positive campaigning and now she starts the 'real' fun kinda politics.

This is where I, instead of watching a movie, sit back, relax, and put on a presidential debate on my new 52inch LCD and enjoy every minute of it. OH.. not quite of a geek I am, but I do flip the channels and only tune in when Hillary craps all over the debate.

Seriously... just imagine, if she were the president and the way she is now.... all the third world countries would be scared shit for like 5 days every month, starting from the 28th day. She could just drop a bomb anyplace to her liking... probably starting from Iran since his president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has been ungaling (desi word for fingering) Amreeka all the time.

Bill Clinton - hats off to u dude for putting up with such a beeatch!!! and remember... us desi guys never blamed u for boning (or cigaring) Monica. U deserve a lot better than Hillary.... err... that would be anything else that moves.

Now... in my counthry.... if political candidates speak against the other as open as they do here... the TV/news/media stations are destroyed, there is a riot in a city, and most probably trainee suicide bombers practice all over the country.

I love how organized everything is here. Aaah.. the respect for mankind.... except for Hillary, who gets none.... unless her PMS wears off.

"Awakened"

Yet another amreekan experience today....my first... and hopefully never wanting to experience again!!

My buddy DKK drops the bomb (chill peeps... just my paki lingo... 'bomb' and sheeyat like that) on my Friday's commute home that RP's dad is pretty sick in the hospital and RP is on his way back from a trip to Atlanta.

Sadly.. the dad passes away (85 yrs), from what I hear peacefully. Arrangements were made in advance so the Wake and Funeral took place today. And hence... my first amreekan "wake".

A note on DKK and RP... my bestest of buddies that I met years ago at my previous workplace. It will take blogs and blogs to explain their support and friendship... but for now.. DKK... the hilarious dude (wearing a mask in the photo) has the memory of an elephant.... and RP... years older than me but the stamina of a 20YR old... runs, jogs, plays basketball, racquetball and also as told by his wife *wink*.

So DKK, who also happens to live literally yards away from my place, and I decide to car pool to the wake... leaving pretty early and offering support to RP and his family for whatever we can do to assist.

Having never attended a wake before... and despite hoping to follow DKK's lead in whatever he did, I find myself googling 'wake' in the middle of the night.. checking out things like... dress attire, what to expect, what to do there, what to say, blah blah blah.

Reached the funeral home and was really 'awakened' by what I saw. I had to try really hard to put on my 'serious', 'sad' face not knowing what to expect.. and hands literally shaking as I opened the door. Everything was so sophistically organized to my surprise. After signing the register, putting a condolence card in that spring kinda thingy... and walking through a passage way of photos.. we stood in a line to meet the family. RP saw us there and came to us right away.

I gave RP the manly hug and offered my condolences to him and his family. We talked about his dad for a bit. Remember... I still had my serious face, something that nobody has ever seen before... not even myself. DKK was like "WTF is up with you dude... u r overdoing it - relax man... RP might start crying looking at you". That was my sigh of relief!!! I tell you. It was one tough job being that serious. I considered myself good enough to be a paki movie star with that kind of acting....

.... and it literally took like 5 minutes and things were back to normal, talking about work and projects and meeting up with the other work peeps and... more of a social event. (yup... i am still bad... but hey.. telling u as I saw it). His dad seemed peaceful.... lying in a suit. DKK and I left when it was time for the funeral.. only to meet up with RP and his family in the afternoon once again, on RP's request, which was once again a social event. RP pretended to be strong in front of his family... but did let out his emotions to us in private... the reason he wanted his buddies DKK and me to be there. I'm glad I was there to support him...something I can do well from the heart!!

It truly was a surprising day for me... as I compared the funeral scene from back home to this one. I was surprised first to see the organized way the funeral was "pre"arranged in, surprised to see people socialize instead of indulging in religious services, surprised not seeing even a tear drop in anyones eyes. It actually made me think about family relations and the values (or lack of) that this culture practices.... and wondering if am I ready for this?

I'm glad all that changed towards the end of the day when we finally got to meet RP after the funeral. A lot happened then which filled the gaps between the cultural differences in my mind.

I learned how things could be done better back home instead of the havoc and the rustle bustle, fake bauling, pick-pocketting (yes, happened to me a few months back), most people there for food only, not realizing remaining family is hurt, partying towards end of day and back to normal by night kinda funeral.


I'm actually glad I got to experience this culture today - wishing never having to go to another Wake again!!!

a "stare" of a different kind…

HOLY MUDDA @##$@!!% FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!! LOOK SOMEPLACE ELSE PULEEEEZ!!!! is what I wanna shout at this aunty kinda figure who has been constantly staring at me as if she’s spotted someone from America’s Most Wanted (and hopefully not from NBC’s To Catch a Predator" – I wanna give the people they trap on that show a one way ticket to Kabul for the crime they commit – they deserve the wobbly walk with wide open legs for a long long time after a "Kabuli treatment")

Not even a blink of an eye and if it wasn’t for a smile every now and then and her "southern/desi style" chewing a gum I would think she is a dead person sitting.

Looking at the positive side of things, this is still waaay better than if the dude sitting in front of her were staring. I that was the case, I would have been deported for … what they call that in this country… assault and battery charges???

Wow… she can do that??? She is almost asleep but her one eye is still locked on to me… wide open... .not to let me out of her sight.

I check out my reflection in the glass to see if I’ve got something on me or sumtin and find me sane… the normal me…. nothing noticeable. So why the fck is she doing this? Have no clue and also no plans to talk to her.

Maybe she is still stuck at the 9/11 incident. Stares at that time were the norm and I would just ignore and carry on with my life. Maybe I remind her of her long lost son.... or maybe.... just maybe... she wants to hook me up with her Jessica Simpson/Aishwarya Rai kinda look alike daughter.... which if was the case I'm sure my wife would have not had a problem permitting me to do so :p

Well this is freaking me out and I'm just gonna go change my seat. Not even worth the topic that I wrote!!!

Never again am I going to sit in the lower end of the train car facing the passengers. Never mind the perks, this is just not worth it. Hope she gets off at the stop before mine… WIERDO!!!

Democracy - for hire??

The political situation in Pakistan is nothing more than a joke nowadays. The so-called elections took place recently with the hope to return the country to democracy. But do we really have any worthy 'leaders'?

The candidates opting for the position of the prime minister of Pakistan are all exiled people, recently came out of hiding, ready to loot the country once again. The biggest d!ck of 'em all Zardari who many say got rid off his wife Benazir in he manner that we all know.

Per Zardari... his wifey wanted him to lead her party after her death... of course the Will could not be shared with anyone for privacy reasons - ahaan.. sure... she always knew how incompetent that fool was. So there he was... "I want my kid son to take over". (in other words.. blow him up next.. not me)

So now with the elections over... his party wins... the fool (oh, did I mention he was a d!ck too) wants to collaborate with the opposition.. does not want to be the prime minister.... (scaredy cat. scaredy cat.) and instead of offering the position to another person in his party... offers it to the leader of the opposition party.

NOW HOW STUPID IS THAT!!!!

I think his own party peeps r gonna do unto him what he is most afraid of. He actually deserves that.

Now about the opposition party - the dude Nawaz... does not do shit for the country. He surely will not know how to handle even a dumb@ss like that Bush guy... let alone McCain, Hillary or Obama. He's gonna get us all screwed. Politics is just too much for this guy. He should just run his factories with all the money he has stolen from the country when he was in power.

Oh, did I mention I have yet to see a Paki government complete its term? 'They' always dissolve it before the time is up and it is time for elections again.... rotating to the other so called 'leader' who then takes turn - yup - u guessed it - stealing from our country.

Musharraf - in my opinion.. the best thing that has happened to the country ever since I remember. The guy has guts and knows how to handle the political situation and to deal with world politics. Sure peeps are against his 'ruling' but then what is a guy gotta do? Disagree with the US and watch his country get bombed!!! All those sorry @ss people who are complaining... ask them how they would have handled the situation???? I bet u wanna blow them up urself just by listening to their answers.

First thing Musharraf does is go after all the tax evaders and those far too rich peeps, accounting them for their doings. Lots of action taken and proven good for the country. Eradicated the bhuttos, zardiris and nawaz sharifs for the good of the country. Lead the country thru some difficult times and most important of all... screw the so called mullas that were brainwashing the youth into fighting the 'holy' way - my @ss... no way 'holy' killing innocent people. Musharraf cleaned most of those peeps. Sure the economy suffered, but then when did it not. We all need to come together to fix that and play our part.

BUT first... agree on a GODDAMMIT political resolution and believe in the person leading the country.

The lessons here:
- DO NOT BELIEVE WHAT THE MEDIA PORTRAYS. IT IS ALL A SCAM!!!

- Zardari - explained: the biggest form of a Pakistani d!ck, living off the aid and country money that he stole.

- Nawaz - explained: a dumb@ss like Bush - retard who does not know how to handle anything.

- Musharraf: THANK YOU for taking care of us. Just find some real person who understands what democracy is.Pakistan needs a LEADER. We do not have anybody.

The overall jist:

Can we hire a 'leader' to be the prime minister of Pakistan? A person who can get this shit straightened out? How about any of the candidates who have stepped down from the US presidentital candidacy. We will accept them with open arms and hearts.

Just help us – PLEEEASSE!!!

OMG!!! What did I do???

So here i am... finally starting my own blog after years and years of religiously following a few without 'dem peeps even knowing it.... anyways... I finally sign up tonite.. with a laptop on my lap as I sit on the 'seat of comfort'.

Will I be able to write as often as I should?? who knows... I just started so lets see how it goes. Be prepared to learn some desi vocabulary though as u read on.

wtf is a desi? well u will read about this alot in my blogs - guaranteed, so lets get this thing straight. desi = someone originating from the indian sub-continent... like as in... india, pakistan, sri lanka and that area.

this is just a start. more words to learn as i write.

my rules:
1. if u don't like what i like... who cares - move on and get a life.
2. u don't like my desi terms.... hahahahah.. SO?
3. ur opinion differs from mine.... get a life someplace else.
4. u like what i write...... awesome.. leave a comment or sumtin.
5. do not tell my homeys about my blog, parents especially... i am still their 'decent' son. lets keep it that way.
6. if i say sumtin abt the amreekans that is not cool... do not tell 'dem fb of i folks... they suck ass... oh wait.. no... they r cool peeps.. just remembered i have applied for citizenship and they can screw me over.
7. any comment disrespecting me, my family or any of my homeys.... remember... i can hunt u down and send my people after u. us northern desis do not take any sheeyat from anyone.
8. about my work.... never mind... have to work to support the kids.
9. if i don't post anything for a while... that's cause i don't wanna. do not send me e-mails or comments asking me to post. i will do it when i feel like it.
10. I AM KING of my blog!!! remember that!!! and this blog is my KINGDOM!!!.... pheasants!!! sheesh!