Amreekans - 'da Best

A Japanese doctor says, 'Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a liver out of one man, put it into another, and have him out looking for work in six weeks.'

A German doctor says, 'That is nothing. We can take a lung out of one person, put it into another, and have him out looking for work in four weeks.'

A British doctor says, 'In my country, medicine is so advanced that we can take half a heart out of one person, put it in another, and have both of them out looking for work in two weeks.'

The American doctor, not to be outdone, interjected, 'You guys are way behind. We are about to take a woman with no brains, and no heart, put her in the White House, and very soon half the country will be out looking for work.'

Indian - defined

Below is hilarious. I have lots of Indian friends and I truly can relate people to almost all of the below (several times):
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You know you are Indian if.....

1. You unwrap all your gifts carefully, so that you can reuse the wrapping.

2 You don't have genuine Tupperware, only use margarine, ice-cream and yoghurt tubs.

3. You call an older person you've never met before 'uncle' or 'aunty.'

4. More than 90% of the music CD's and cassettes in your home are illegal copies.

5. Your garage is always full of stuff because you never throw anything away, just in case you need it someday.

6. You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottle from your stays at hotels.

7. You have almost always overweight baggage when travelling by plane.

8. If a store has a limit on the quantity of a product, then each member of the family will join separate queues to purchase the maximum quantity possible.

9. All children have annoying nicknames.

10. Nobody in your family informs you that they are coming over for a visit.

11. You stuff your pockets with, mints and toothpicks at restaurants.

12. Your family member has a minor disagreement with another family member and does not talk to her for 10 years.

13. You only make telephone calls night because it is at a cheaper rate.

14. You teach others swear words in your language.

15. You never have less than 20 people to meet you at the airport or see you off even if it is a local flight

16. You keep changing your Internet Service Provider because the first month is free

17. Office supplies mysteriously find their way to your home.

18. You don't buy a printer because it is cheaper to do it at work.

19. You wash your car on a Sunday.

20. Weddings never start at the appointed time.

21. You always lie about the ages of your children if they have to pay higher admission fees.

22. When you are young, your parents buy you clothes at least two sizes too big so that they would last longer

23. At least one of your uncles is a teacher.

24. You have a 10 kg bag of rice in the kitchen.

25. You always read the Sport sections of the Sunday newspapers first.

26. You have a no job and car, but you still stay with your parents.

27. You have a party for a one-year old, and there's more adults than children.
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Avoidance

"are you avoiding me?"... this is what I was asked for the second time today.

Got me wondering.. have I really been ignoring friends? The homies who had been there for everything over the years (and weeks). Been so tied up with work and home stuff… I truly don’t remember the last time I had a decent conversation with anyone.

Hell yeah…. I’ve been unknowingly ignoring them – but never avoiding!! Time to set things right. Will be calling each and every one and also will meet up with them someplace.

Here’s a sample Mirza apology:

“o’ye blogmaster hedy.. *bow* *bow*. thy subject cometh before you to seek’th forgiveness. for the act of ignorance, for which he is ashamed of. the pain caused to thee… the hurt that cometh with it. the err is unforgivable… but then.. we are human’eth; make mistake’th, but not avoid’th. forgive as it is divine. mercy o’blogmaster hedy.. i beg’th thy mercy. *bow* *bow*”

OK… now… get back to normal or I continue with above BS for another 10 pages.

:)

Sanity - Returned

After weeks of consistent headaches and intolerable stress at work... today is when I feel sane again. A load off my back, at least that’s how I think of it now.. on my way home… back to observing the people around me.

This older ‘Indian’ lady with a laptop, pretending to work but snooping over the shoulder of the guy next to her to read the news… looks at me and then quickly back to her pretend work…. Gotcha!!! Oh.. did I mention she was ‘Indian’.

Aaah… life seems to be back to normal.. I can feel it…. and check out the hottie in the car below who does not even know I exist!!! aaaiiyaaaaii yaaaai karaamba!! yup…. as normal as can be.

Actually enjoyed work today. Been meeting all deadlines and very active in the meetings. A day without headache is a rare occurrence and today was one of them. Even the people around me noticed the ‘return of ‘da mirza’.

However… it’s back to work from home thru the night. Fearing my sanity will disappear again. Want to enjoy whatever is remaining.

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Work incident of the day: the dude exited from the emergency exit and the alarm goes off again…. the really irritating type that nobody resets for another hour. Was in a meeting with my boss when that happened.

She says… “I just put up the notice yesterday on the door so people do not exit through the door.”

I say… “Yes, but it was in English?”

My work = 1200 employees, 950 of which are Indians, many Russians and Chinese, 4 Pakistanis and a handful Americans.
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BTW… did I mention.. that old lady is an ‘Indian’ too - I eyeball her as she exists the Lisle station… heheheheh!!!

am I sane?